You have probably heard a classic cliché “Don’t judge a book by its cover” that reminds us to not quickly fall to the first impression trap. But we rarely question how big of an impact that first impression could make even though we believe that we are not the prey of the bias.

Trivial as it might seem, but we spontaneously form impressions that affect our judgement about someone or something which can lead to confirmation bias, our tendency to pick information that supports our belief. So, first impression does matter because we can’t avoid the instant snap judgement of a person from his or her appearance or other social assessments.

How then we mitigate these impressions of someone that might be false after we know the person better? what follows are the reasons why first impression matters and what factors that affect it. But first and foremost, let’s start with something practical.

“Gosh… I want to talk to her again”

Ever had a conversation with someone that makes you eager to meet that person again? Well, we all had that kind of conversation that makes us wonder how to be like that person. Luckily, we can, with a little knowledge and some practices. Below are some strategies that can help you to make a good first impression.

Walk The Talk

The power of non-verbal communication is quite often underrated. We tend to forget that our body language as well as our facial expressions play a huge role when we are communicating our opinions or thoughts. In fact, sometimes it’s our expressions and body language that expresses our emotions better than words^[1].

Explaining something plainly in words is extremely boring and even can be obscure. People that use hand gestures, or facial expressions while talking is more attractive because our body and facial movements bolster the emotion around our speech. But be careful to not let your facial expressions and body language convey unwanted response, such as arrogance.

So, try to keep your body facing towards the other person and maintain eye contact with them, and don’t forget the smile, because smiling convey warmth and genuine interest and it can also make you a trustworthy person .

Listening Actively

Means that you have to be present with them in the conversation and focus all of your sensory senses (except taste) to it. Replying with an open-ended question such as “how do you feel about the event?” or “what do you think on the subject?” makes the conversation alive because the other person has to respond with an answer besides yes or no, which are very passive and will likely kill the momentum of the talk.

Watch Your Words

When fostering a new relationship with others, it’s critical to be respectful and careful when talking to them. Choosing the right topic and avoid the sensitive one such as religion, socioeconomic status, or personal gossips is essential as well. Try asking what their hobbies are, what sports that they follow, or any other open-ended questions that keep the conversation going on.

Reasons why first impression matters

Maybe some of you are still being skeptical about this notion because we are likely to make a false or inaccurate judgement of someone. It’s true and it’s no surprise that we tend to always seek information that support our belief about a person. We all had that one time where we misjudge poeple maybe because of their awkward behavior or the odd sense of humor and then it turned out that they were not that different from us. Time will slowly reveal it all eventually.

But there are several reasons why it’s still important to make a good first impression especially in certain occasion like the first day of college, or a job interview where it’s crucial to make a good first impression to make future interactions easier.

Future Interactions Become Easier to Make

As I said, that certain social situations might rely heavily on first impression thus making it good can be very helpful to tell the other person that you are worth interacted.

There’s a study that people who evoke untrustworthy-looking face, such as anger, can make us harder to recognize their emotions. On the other end, people who evoke trustworthy-face, such as smiling or being happy essentially, are easier to read their emotions. And this explain as well why making a good first impression tells other people that you are emotionally stable thus increasing the chance to make a deeper relationship.

The Halo Effect

People often associate a positive trait of someone to other positive traits. For example, attractive people can make us think that they are also smart. This can happen in any other social situations. In the education sector, there’s a study that said:

It was found that the child’s attractiveness was significantly associated with the teacher’s expectations about how intelligent the child was, how interested in education his parents were, how far he was likely to progress in school, and how popular he would be with his peers.

Well, we might as well as fool other people then…., just like what happened in the early 20^th century when the prime minister of Britain, Neville Chamberlain said about Hitler: In spite of the hardness and ruthlessness I thought I saw in his face, I got the impression that here was a man who could be relied upon when he had given his word. But as it turned out that he wasn’t at all.

Some Takeaways…

Clearly that first impression is both likely to be wrong and unlikely to be avoidable, since we love making instant conclusion in our minds without considering the fact that there are more things we must know before jumping to an answer. Man… we sure love heuristics and prefer the path of least resistance when facing the unknown. So, yes, first impression does matter and to verify it, time is the key to it